lady_t_220

So work stuff... I'm feeling somewhat stuck in a rut and I was vaguely pondering earlier upon my sudden, desperate need to be doing something, anything, other than what I was doing.
Just standing there and it crossed my mind that if I could just dump it all and go back home right that second, then I would.
Of course you can't because people rely on you turning up and doing what they need... but man I just didn't want to be bothered today.
It'll go away again in a week or so, but I'm just feeling so totally, pethetically sick of working day in and day out that pretty much all I wanted to do was come home and crawl back into bed.
We're having a shift rotation next week too. I usually do downstairs and R does upstairs... we're swapping over which just really really BLOWS... I hate doing upstairs... >.<
It's hot up there in summer and all the rooms are smaller than the ones that I currently do, so you're squeezing round furniture and pulling out the beds cause they're pressed against the walls where you can't easily get to them, and the bathrooms are all small and still have the old fittings in.
I'll admit I'll be glad to see the back of the new room 15, because that has a bathtub with like these scolloped edges and it's a BITCH to clean, but other than that... *blah*
Lesley says it's just so we get to swap over every now and then who has to do all the big rooms downstairs, but R mentioned that it's more so she can bottom out the rooms on my side.
I'll admit I don't have a clue what it entails and, as no one seems willing to enlighten me, it's true that it doesn't get done. But, y'know, it feels kinda' like I'm getting both shunted and lied to at the same time.
Lesley and R having quiet, hushed conversations with each other about God alone knws what doesn't really make me feel any better. Inner paranoid self, while quiet on the most part, just really didn't like that...
The money was good today though, I did a lotta' hours this week, but it doesn't detract from the new and crushing sensation that I'm seriously wasting my time... pretty much ALL the time.
Jane was going on today about that footballer who just died. If you see the news footage it's like he runs a bit, walks a bit and then just falls over dead in the middle of the pitch.
I'm like, "Jesus, Jane... fucking perky to start the morning..."
So yeah... 28 years old, athletic, cleaner living than most people I can mention, and just suddenly *pouff*... dead as a dodo. A real case of sudden death.

So I'm assuming that didn't really aid my current perky outlook on the day.
It just strikes me that the unending repetition is starting to wear thin, y'know?
You go to school every day then you spend the weekend sitting around in a stupor thinking that you don't want to go to school on Monday. Then you go to college every day and you spend the weekends drunk and in a stupor thinking that you don't want to have to go to class on Monday... then you get a job and you go to work every day and you spend the weekend slumped in front of the TV in a stupor thinking that you don't want to go back to work on Monday...
And all for what, exactly?
A lifestyle you're too busy to enjoy because you spend all your time at work, or maybe a couple of weeks a year where you actually get to go away and live a little.
A couple of weeks out of 52... ~_^ Yeah. I'm fucking thrilled.
I don't want just a couple of weeks, I want to live that bit...
Life's too fuckin' short. I feel like I should be grabbing it by the throat, but the weight of reality just doesn't want to let me get a hold on.
I feel like I've done this bit now, I wanna' do something else. Only I don't know how to do what I want to do... hell I still don't even know what I want to do.

What I want right now though is a fucking 3-day weekend.