Brain-vomit spewing forth in a mildly sulky and pointless manner

[lady_t_220]

Not that anyone especially cares but I did eventually make that soup, and wrote maybe about a half a page of fic before stalling out again. I'm currently busy failing to illustrate the internal leap of logic one character has to make to get to the conclusion required to move things along.
I'm sure it'll present itself in due course, these things usually do.

I was having a reasonably nice, if quiet day of it until Uncle D called and declared that he'd been putting his (rather abundant now he's retired) free time towards trying to think up what sort of job I should go for. He used to do this for a living, you know. Careers advice-ish whatnottery. Several jobs and about a deacde ago, at any rate.
Oof, there's nothing like someone telling you they can't think of a single job you're really cut out to enjoy (other than world domination or perhaps some kind of independent common-sense consultant) because they've decided they're all too mundane to maintain your interest.
I'm like... uh... thanks. Probably. Kind of already knew that. Because if I knew what I wanted to do, I would be out there trying to do it, not sitting around on my arse trying to work out what that actually is.
Kind of already knew also that my somewhat spotty employment history looks worse the older I get as well. Didn't need either of those points hammering home with any blunter a wedge than they already got. The concept of 99% of the jobs currently in existence already fills me with screaming horror at the thought of being tied to them, so on the most part I try not to think about it at all, it's the only way to deal with it.
So yeah, I was pottering along feeling pretty OK till Mr Doom-sayer called and in a somewhat kack-handed attempt to be helpful essentially just wound up reinforcing the idea that someone else actually shares my paranoid conviction that most of my life is ultimately made up of varying shades of pointlessness and futility and that my job prospects are shit and only going to get shitter. Like in case I forget that yes, this would be why I've been veering aimlessly between happy denial and abject despair since hiding in governmentally-funded full-time education was no longer an option. Hooray. Good for me. Let's have a fucking party.

Humbug.

Comments

Harshness ahead.

[katduza.livejournal.com]

I do understand how you feel but you know what, work is work. It's called work, not holiday, for a reason. Very few of us enjoy work, I don't know anybody who has a job they like, it's just something we all have to do to survive.
Life, growing up, whatever, we all have to do it.
There are good days and bad days and some days when all you want to do is kill things but it's one of those facts of life that work you must.

Perhaps this time with your mom heading for retirement and the frustration you feel is all a way of fate shoving you forward to that fatefull doom of gainful employment.
And like your UD says, the longer you procrastinate, the worse its going to get.
It's not nice but for God sakes woman, get off your bum and head out there and get some work. You can then enjoy yourself on the days you dont work by spending it all on silly amounts of lush and chocolate and trips to NY.

You can then stop worrying about all the stuff in your head now and just focus on how much you hate working.
No more time for brooding, no more time for denial, stop trying to avoid the subject.

You have more skill and intellegence in your little finger than I have in my whole body...and yes, it will be wasted on a checkout but you know what, tough.
Life's shit.

At least this way people will stop harping at you and you can piss off on all those holidays you want.

*Massivly big hugs.

Re: Harshness ahead.

[lady-t-220.livejournal.com]

That's it then, is it? That's the shape of future-to-come? Sitting on our thumbs, sucking it up because there's nothing else to choose from?

I'm amazed mankind hasn't collectively thrown itself off something tall already.

Re: Harshness ahead.

[katduza.livejournal.com]

Pretty much yeah.
Unless you want to live under a hedge somewhere, eating only others left overs, you have to work to make money to trade for stuff.
Or move to a kabutz.

Why do you want a job? Why does it bother you if your familly elders are a bunch of patronising busy bodies?
For Goodness sake woman, you are incredibly talented!! And well loved by people everywhere which is more than the majority of people on this earth can say.
If your fed up with where you are, take a break from it.

Get away from your familly, get away from what life is right now...but you keep telling me that your too comfy..right?
So you have to start weighing up stuff...are you so comfy that your willing to put up with this shit or are you going to stop bloody sulking and do something about it?

[deke.livejournal.com]

I think I've had one job in my life that I actually liked most of the time (the guitar store/roadying) and it still had some particularly shit moments when I was like "Why the fuck am I doing this?" The rest have been more of the "Why the fuck am I doing this?" most of the time. Then I remember, because I need the money and I need an excuse to be away from my family for 40 hours a week.

I know the thought of a brain-numbing job isn't appealing, but if you get on with the brain-numbing, there's always the possibility that it will lead to something not-as-brain-numbing later on. That's what I keep hoping for, anyway. And think of it this way, you can do it without the spectre of $75k in student loans hanging over your head. That's a bonus, right?

And if Uncle D wants to use his lifetime of experience in gaming the system to help someone, get him started on how to figure out how to get me over there, will ya? I'm sure he's got to have some ideas.

[lady-t-220.livejournal.com]

Right now I'm so pissed off with everything I don't even know what I think any more.

And it's not like I don't know that I need to get a new job, even a crap one, sooner rather than later. I am attempting to do that and currently failing quite comprehensively, which is not really helping matters.

I'm just, you know, done with even wanting to think about it for a little bit, I could have done without being variously patronised and back-handedly insulted by my own uncle.

[deke.livejournal.com]

I do feel you, really. I thought my 18 months of unemployment would be fun, but after about the first week, it totally sucked. And I was so there about not wanting to think about finding a job because I kept getting shut down, or not even called or whatever. It's incredibly dispiriting. Which is why I think a change of scenery would be good for you (not just 'cause I want you to come here). If you could just find someone to give you the money for the flight, I think you'd be set.

[junebugged.livejournal.com]

Hey...
I've been at the job that I went to school to get an education for and everything for 5 years now. And it is NOT my cup of tea. Not at all. There are parts of it that I love, but the majority of it sucks and is super stressful.

When I was young I got a job at the local movie theater. I ended up staying there for years - eventually worked my way up to manager and projectionist. I loved that job - I ran everything. And every Thursday night I'd run a preview of one of the new movies for my employees and several of their closest friends. Another perk was all the free movie materials - posters and other promotional items. I ended up leaving the job because my depression had me in a horrible place and the person I was co-managing with was a terrible human being. But the pay was twice the minimum wage at the time and that was pretty good - especially living at home at the time.

Working at the vet was really difficult and taxing on my body, but I loved it. I loved helping the animals. But I didn't go to school for it and I couldn't make enough to live on.

I don't know if any of this helps - but maybe finding a job with just one facet that you find interesting will help? You're an amazing artist - what about some sort of illustration job - whether you're the illustrator or you run the phones or the warehouse or anything?

I know it's a shit economy... what about working on art by request? Like... using your etsy site to display some of the work you've done and maybe working per request?

I don't know... All I can say is you are so amazingly talented and I hate seeing you beat yourself up about this. *hugs*

[emtee516.livejournal.com]

I had a friend who free lanced and worked at home for a variety of mail order collectible companies. She wrote the copy that accompanied the cheesey trinkets they sold online and by direct mail. Places we have in the US like the Franklin Mint and the Bradford exchange.

You must have the equivalent companies in the UK. Look up any of these type of sites and read the dribble that describes the "limited time offer of this once in a lifetime commemorative collector's plate that you have to have". As corny as the stuff is, it does take a little creativity to pull it off and my friend was really good at it and made a living at it.

I looked at a couple of the sites and they had Employment Opportunities listed. They even had a call out for artists. It may not be a dream job but you have the writing skills, the creative mind and the artistic flair to do something like this in your sleep.

Example: http://www.thebradfordgroup.com/ct/chicagojobs/artistswantedbradford.jsp