lady_t_220

Parentals are home, and seem duly unamused by my weekend's exploits. *sadface* I dunno, I still think it was all pretty funny, and the crayon doodle of Cyke's lazer-beam-shooting talking wang still makes me lol.

Aside from that... had an early night and slept lots and feel (physically) much better for it, but in the same breath I'm still mostly all just *uuurgh* and *bleeugh* and *aargh* and up to the eyeballs with anxiety and general fucked-up-itude-ary. And despite the fact that I know it's irrational I'm still kind of stressed to the point where I start feeling kind of nauseous if I think about tomorrow too hard. Which is just stupid, but it is what it is, and I can only tell myself to pull myself together so many times when clearly it isn't actually achieving anything.
And I don't really like sitting on it, which is essentially what I have to do because no one really wants to hang around while I attempt to wibble and totally fail to verbalise exactly why I am so inexplicably freaked out. Mostly because I *can't* explain it, at least no further than my general inability to cope with changes and the unknown, even when they're positive developments. These things need time to percolate through and with it all just being dumped on me less than a week ago, the percolation really hadn't got much past the surface before being blissfully ignored for three days.

I know, I know, I know... pull myself together, pull on those big-girl pants and deal with it, the worst that can happen is that I quit or she fires me and neither is the end of the world, and it might all be ok and just... uuugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.